I see Svet's already taken the wind out of my sails, as waterborne dragons are wont to do. Nevertheless, from my cozy little crevice in Mount Hood to yours: greetings, welcome, and, as my number-one comrade has so eloquently put, hi there.
For those of you not living in a cave -- and I suspect there are still many of you -- I am Phenoix, resident Eastern-descendant dragon of the Two Timid Dragons web-log. Like my pear-shaped partner, I have cut back on townsfolk and livestock in favor of modern media-based consumables: good videogames, bad movies, pulpy books, and so on. Such things are easy to obtain; a few daring locals have taken to conquering the slopes on this side of the mountain, and those who fail along the way make for particularly easy prey. I am of course referring to preying on their wallets, and sometimes a thing or two for my hoard.
Oh, and sorry about your snowboard. You know who you are.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Greetings! It is here, sitting at my drawing desk in a luxurious cave outside Lake Bemidji, I write to you the following words: Welcome to the Two Timid Dragons Game-Analysis Web Page, in which I, the dragoness you must already know as Svetlana, and my far-too-attractive partner-in-crime Phenoix, intend to spend our days jotting things down about the amazing modern media we experience on a nigh-hourly basis. We mostly keep to ourselves, but in the fusion reactor of the Skype line that connects my cave to his, big, sexy ideas have been known to take place!
So again I say, welcome, comrades, to the dawn of dragony criticism on the Internet (at least twice as bearable than criticism from humans and about a million times moreso than that of gryphons); an altruistic effort to make the online social sphere objectively better through the presence of glittering personalities such as that of myself.
For the few that remain out there who haven't seen me chasing them down as I fly about on my morning/evening patrols, I am Svetlana, an American dragon with family hailing from places as far as Scotland and Uzbekistan. When I'm not out terrorizing townsfolk, I spend most of my time playing video games while sitting on a pile of their jewelry. The reason for this is that modern society has made it extremely easy for mythological beasts like myself to survive. I no longer have to swoop over the local wilderness, keeping my eyes peeled for wildlife to snatch up in my greedy talons, tear open and eat raw in my dimly-lit cavern; these days, all it takes is to shake down the right person with the tip of a claw to get them to give me the smelly slips of cotton paper I routinely hand to the frightened supermarket clerk so she can give me the hot-pockets I crave.
Since things are so easy for dragons like me and Phen, we have a lot of free time, which we mostly spend in our respective caves making use of modern appliances like the electric fan, the microwave, and the Xbox. Sites for the other two will come soon; until then, we expect to deliver a suite of fantastic game-related content to all those who insist upon reading it, the details of which will be arriving soon if you wait patiently enough. Until then, safe travels -- and take care that you see neither of us when you're next out of doors.